Dealing with Scars in AMYGDALA
Trigger Warning: The following content may contain suicide or self-harm topics.
SUGA’s highly anticipated album, D-DAY, under the alias Agust D, finally made its way to ARMY on April 21, 2023. D-DAY is the third and last album in the Agust D trilogy. In the fourth track of the album, AMYGDALA, SUGA opens up again about the difficult times in his life. The music video for the track was released on April 24, a few days after the release of the album. AMYGDALA is a trap hip-hop/pop genre song that doubles intense emotions and features an acoustic guitar and a simple yet catchy melody.
Understanding the amygdala's function further helps us understand the music video's symbolism. The word amygdala is derived from the Greek word amygdale, which means almond. The amygdala is an almond-shaped structure in the brain that is associated with processing various emotions, especially fear.
The music video begins with SUGA sitting on a black couch in a dark room with a single white door. He appears lost in his negative thoughts. Some major events which deeply affected SUGA have been highlighted in the music video as well as the lyrics, such as the bike accident that injured his shoulder, and his parents’ physical health. As we continue watching the music video, we can see SUGA putting on his helmet and getting on his delivery bike. The lyrics, “A journey through memories / Memories I want to have erased” can be associated with his accident and how he wishes to forget those memories.
The SUGA in the dark room seems to be stuck in a sort of nightmare loop from which he desperately wants to escape. He wakes up with a pocket knife in his hand and gives himself the scar that Agust D has on his face in the Daechwita and Haegeum music videos. Given the context and actions, the scar more or less represents an act of self-harm. SUGA keeps reliving the moment of the accident in his memory. The white door opens for a short while, and the SUGA stuck in the dark room can be seen wanting to escape but is unable to. This can be interpreted as him wanting to stop reliving the painful memories of the accident and all the hardships he was facing at the time but being unable to escape them.
The amygdala is responsible for triggering emotions of fear and anger. Throughout the music video, SUGA is seen eating almonds instead of medication, as almonds are said to boost memory power. He sings, “My amygdala / Hurry and save me, hurry and save me / My amygdala / Hurry and get me out, hurry and get me out.” Despite how important this region of our mind is for survival and how it works to protect us from threats by aiding our fight-or-flight responses, SUGA would rather erase his most negative memories. Further into the music video, the room starts tilting, which implies that it is not just a room he has to escape, but rather a mountain he has to scale.
The rain in the music video brings a sense of foreboding through his memories, and it makes sense since his accident happened on a rainy day. As the music video approaches the end, we see the SUGA on the bike rush toward the SUGA in the darkened room in an attempt to save him and free him from his painful memories. He tries extremely hard to open the door and save himself but fails. Although the ending is left ambiguous, it can be interpreted that SUGA is still stuck in those painful memories that prevent him from healing completely.
The music video feels so raw and devastating to watch because it is a reminder of what SUGA had to go through. It takes a lot of courage to show something so vulnerable to the public and leave it up to interpretation. We thank SUGA for giving us this wonderful song and video.
Written by: Pluto
Edited by: Lisa K
Designed by: Achan
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